Umm I'm too high to move.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
