Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
