We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
