i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
