spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I need moral support for this bender
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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