nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
