My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
