she woke up with a sticky ear
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
