Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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(773): Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night http://tfl.nu/fbj4

Replies (18) Good night (1157) Bad night (4081)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

(443): View more from Maryland

How'd that go?

(301): View more from Maryland

Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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(301): I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been... (443): How'd that go? (301): Hes on his way with a baseball bat... http://tfl.nu/x8jv

Replies (14) Good night (890) Bad night (4194)
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(678): View more from Georgia

All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

(404): View more from Georgia

You mean bread?

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(678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8

Replies (60) Good night (17338) Bad night (1550)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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(262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn

Replies (24) Good night (669) Bad night (5210)
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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep

Replies (36) Good night (8782) Bad night (1150)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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(440): Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true. http://tfl.nu/r2p3

Replies (19) Good night (3573) Bad night (1406)
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(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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(619): Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this. http://tfl.nu/9259

Replies (13) Good night (1806) Bad night (1367)
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(585): View more from New York

You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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(585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy

Replies (15) Good night (2879) Bad night (715)
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(574): View more from Indiana

most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water

(1-574): View more from Indiana

desperate times, desperate measures

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(574): most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water (1-574): desperate times, desperate measures http://tfl.nu/2k3a

Replies (8) Good night (579) Bad night (1041)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.

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(775): Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture. http://tfl.nu/1sw6

Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (354)
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(352): View more from Florida

We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

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(352): We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home. http://tfl.nu/59j5

Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (716)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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(224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco

Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (355)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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(910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a

Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (326)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.

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(405): Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center. http://tfl.nu/aec1

Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (312)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We will go to karaoke

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me

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(603): We will go to karaoke (1-603): Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me http://tfl.nu/bhpl

Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (518)

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