You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
