Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2917) Bad night (685)
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  (353): View more from

  I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number

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  (353): I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number http://tfl.nu/ogfc
  Replies (7) Good night (734) Bad night (4193)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

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  (978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6
  Replies (9) Good night (1056) Bad night (4663)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
  Replies (16) Good night (4590) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.

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  (651): I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up. http://tfl.nu/q8q2
  Replies (10) Good night (3717) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?

  (509): View more from Washington

  You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.

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  (303): Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it? (509): You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge. http://tfl.nu/hjyd
  Replies (7) Good night (3918) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.

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  (918): I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance. http://tfl.nu/ugp3
  Replies (13) Good night (1809) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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  (806): Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early. http://tfl.nu/6dqv
  Replies (7) Good night (1412) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere

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  (970): I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me (970): Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere http://tfl.nu/25bl
  Replies (12) Good night (2647) Bad night (585)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...

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  (630): I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night... http://tfl.nu/aiyg
  Replies (9) Good night (544) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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  (203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c
  Replies (10) Good night (2104) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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  (306): I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee. http://tfl.nu/xuxq
  Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar

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  (775): This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar http://tfl.nu/olfy
  Replies (5) Good night (403) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My legs r really sober for running now

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think that's how sobriety works.

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  (919): My legs r really sober for running now (1-919): I don't think that's how sobriety works. http://tfl.nu/qcs5
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (431)

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