Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break