What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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