I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
