i don't like sucking hair
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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