it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
