We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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