well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize