Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize