After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
