if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
