Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
