Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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