I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.