i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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