do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
