If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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