I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
