Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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