my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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