it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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