My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
