ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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