Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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