I wanna passion pit in your ass
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
