There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
