Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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