What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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