How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
