I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
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You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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