doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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