therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
