i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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