Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
