Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
