I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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