Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
