She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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