Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
