yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
