That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
