the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
