dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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