I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize