i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Come on in and take your pants off
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