I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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