The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
