just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize