Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
