I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
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