I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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