My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
